Saturday, April 14, 2007

Bravissimo!

The team from Top Design Blogger...Desecrating The Decorating, along with the fabulous Laz, have started a new blog, Bravissimo:Altered States of Reality. We will dish, discuss, admire and fling snarkisms at Bravo's reality shows. So come on over and check us out!

(((MUAH)))

Friday, April 13, 2007

Helllllllllllllllp!

I need some ideas for my blog. Send me whatever you can think of, anything at all, I'm begging here! And I promise to give you credit for your ideas. Cross my fingers, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.
Well, I'll cross my fingers at least.

(((MUAH)))

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Who the hell...

Who the hell is the moron that designs bathroom stalls? If anyone knows, send them my way so that I can lock them inside one of these tiny torture chambers for about a week. They are no bigger then the average sized refrigerator. You have to step inside, straddle the toilet to close the door, sit down, pull your knees up to your chest to be able to do your business, then you better hope that your a contortionist if you want to wipe your goods, then straddle the toilet once again to open the door so you can get out. Oh yeah, and let's not forget about pulling your pants up and down, if you succeed in doing this without beating yourself black & blue against the sides of the stall or banging your head into the door, or even better yet, without stepping into the toilet, then you must be a direct descendant of the Great Houdini.
(((MUAH)))

Friday, April 6, 2007

Happy Easter

I would like to take this opportunity to wish you a very Happy Easter. And if you have to hide eggs inside because it will be as cold at your house as it is supposed to be here this weekend, then I hope that all the eggs are found. Because there's nothing like the disgusting aroma of rotten eggs filling your home.
Ewwwwww!
(((MUAH)))

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Brain Fart

Have you ever had one of those days where your mind just goes blank? That my friend, is called a brain fart. What is a brain fart you might ask? Being the ever inquisitive Ho that I am, decided to find out.
I found this definition on Google-
Brain Fart: A lapse in the thought process; an inability to think or remember clearly. Draw a blank.
That's the story of my life.
Then I found this question posted on a Yahoo Polls & Surveys page-
Andrew: What does a brain fart smell like?
Ardeur: It smells like dumb.
Me thinks that Ardeur is very smart.
I also found a recipe for a drink called Brain Fart-
1 fifth Everclear alcohol
1 fifth Smirnoff Red Label vodka
2 liters Mountain Dew citrus soda
2 liters Surge citrus soda
1 bottle lemon juice
1 pint Bacardi white rum
Pre-chill soda, and mix slowly with other ingredients and ice in a punch bowl. Serve in punch bowl.
Can you imagine Grandma serving that at her next Red Hat Society luncheon?
After all the exhausting research on the subject, the conclusion that I have arrived at is this, that I have confused you even more or convinced you that I am a walking, talking brain fart.
What else did you expect from me?
(((MUAH)))

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!

I'm going to start boycotting Mondays.
My day started out early, like 6:13 am early, when the telephone started ringing like it was trying out for the part of an ambulance siren. Not only did it just about give me a heart attack, but I think that I set some sort of world record while being air borne and wrapped in blankets while screaming like a freakin banshee. And to top it off, it was a wrong number! I swear that I will invent a device that can go through the phone lines and send an electrical current to shock the piss out of anyone that makes wrong numbers at such an insane time in the morning. And you know there was no chance of going back to sleep after that. Sooooo, I get up and proceed to trip over my ninety five pound bear of a dog who just loves to lie in wait for me to do just that, and land on the knee that is already giving me problems. It's hell getting old. The day goes on with all the lovely mundane things that have to be done around the house. WooHoo, fun, fun. Then I get the bright idea to clean out the fridge, silly me. While taking out a bowl of my husbands kick ass, burn your guts out chili, I bump my elbow and send the bowl crashing to the floor. Needless to say that I just loved cleaning up that mess. Not. Let me see, what else happened that day, my daughter and her boyfriend had some drama, my husband gets pulled over on his way home from work and gets a speeding ticket, and I try to put this post up all day without any success. What is it with web servers any way? You have something that you want or need to do, and they go caput on you.
I should have stayed in bed.
(((MUAH)))