Advice From the HO...

"Always practice safe sex,

look both ways before cumming."

(((MUAH)))

Jury of your peers?

I've been on call for jury duty since last week, the damn lawyers asked for a continuation. I got to thinking (I know, I know, that's a dangerous thing for me to be doing), about what the trial was about. I came to the conclusion that it must be one bad ass blogger. I mean, you get a jury of your peers right? I'm a blogger, so therefore another blogger must be on trial. Makes sense doesn't it? I'm not a murderer, drug dealer, car thief, bank robber or anything like that so I can't be one of their peers. That got me to wondering just how they get a jury for any of these criminals. Wouldn't the jury get arrested too? The judicial system is very confusing.

Back to the blogger.....they must have written something really bad to be put on trail. Did they blog about Paris Hilton?, that's enough to get you the death penalty. Maybe it was about Donald Trumps hair, that over hair sprayed mess should get the electric chair. Or maybe they blogged about the freaks that are on myspace (most of which are my friends). Whatever they did, I promise be fair and honest with my verdict.
Who am I kidding?
Fry the bastard!!!!

(((MUAH)))

International Weblogger’s Day

Apparently today is International Weblogger’s Day and Allison from Reality on Bravo has tagged me to write a post about five reasons I love to blog, and then to tag five other people (from blogs I love to read) to do the same. It’s a way to promote blogging and to draw you into our web, Hee Hee Hee (btw, that's supposed to be a wicked laugh). You can't resist coming back for more once the Ho has you under her spell.

1. Because it's an opportunity for me to release my inner bitch.
2. I can say whatever I like and I have a lot to say.
3. When I'm on the computer blogging, then my husband has full control of the remote. I like to let him think he's the one with the ball's in our marriage every once in a while.
4. My sister (Chef Biatch/Brillke) got me hooked on blogging when she asked me if I would help with graphics on Blogging Top Chef: Chewing It Up and Spitting It Out! and then asked me to join the gang on Top Design Blogger...Desecrating The Decorating and then asked if I would stay on when we started Bravissimo up. I got hooked and the rest is history.
5. I blog because it's fun, I meet great people and because it helps me (in a small way), to fulfill my life long dream of becoming an author. Don't you dare laugh or The Ho will punch you in the pie ho.

1. The amazing Eric from eric three thousand
2. The other Eric from everything eric
3. Linda from ::Surroundings::
4. The gals at Blogging Top Chef: Chewing It Up and Spitting It Out!
5. Sarakastic from The Fibromyalgia Experiment

Check these blogs out, they rock!

(((MUAH)))

New Friends

I went on a friends search today on myspace. My original idea was to find new readers for the blogs that I am associated with, Blogging Top Chef:Chewing It Up and Spitting It Out!, Bravissimo and this one. But I soon found myself finding, lets say "very interesting" people. These are the kind of people that I can relate to best, so called "normal" people just don't get me. I will be researching some of my new friends and plan on posting about them here (with their permission of course). So make plans to check back, this should prove to be very enlightening. And if you want to be one of my myspace friends, check me out at http://www.myspace.com/thehoinmo.

(((MUAH)))

Paris Who?

I have been missing in action for a while now due to personal issues. Now that I am heavily medicated, I can return to blogging about whatever crap that comes to my warped mind. And the first thing that comes to mind is Paris Hilton, but who the hell wants to hear anymore about that bitch? Let's talk about something worthwhile instead. For instance, when should you mow your lawn? I've heard that you should mow it early in the morning, but if my white trash neighbor ever dares to crank up his three wheeled, duct taped handled, sounds like it's going to blow up at any second lawnmower that doubles as a mosquito fogger, he's going to have one pissed off Ho to deal with. The Ho does not do mornings. I've also heard that it's usually too hot to mow your lawn in the middle of the day, something about burning the grass or something? But I do so love looking at a nice young thing, six packed, body glistening with sweat, pushing a lawnmower.......

Holy Mother of Pearl!

He can mow my lawn anytime. And cut my grass too. Now where was I? I don't have a clue after seeing that picture! I think that I'll just go ahead and post this so that I can sit here and fatasize about....

(((MUAH)))